I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize