Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
