Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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