So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
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At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.