they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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