Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
