i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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