you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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