She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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