Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
