I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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