Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize