You really coming over, don't trick.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
