I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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