No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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