Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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