I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
