You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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