dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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