At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize