so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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