And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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