You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
