he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
