She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
