i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this boner is exhausting
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
