this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize