the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
