the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
