nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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