actually, I'm a sock model
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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