ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
