she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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