One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
