i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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