and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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