I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
