My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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