Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
