North Korea, Best Korea!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
