Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Randomize
