so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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