she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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