That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
