We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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