i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
