Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
