Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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