last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
