he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize