It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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