apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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