then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
