She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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