so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I yelled at your uterus for you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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