Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
