Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
