hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
