Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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